i don't like sucking hair
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
