remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
