why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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