Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
