oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
