Don't you send me to vm
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
