dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
