Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
