shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
