I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Randomize
