Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
