i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
bring money and cleavage
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
