i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
