I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
