So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
