im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
