my mouth tastes like poor choices
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
