If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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