but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
