He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
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