Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
