You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
