I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
