Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
