Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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