My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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