if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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