I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
