oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
