all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
