Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Damn victory sex feels great
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
