I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I am naked and annoyed.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
