can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
