Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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