Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
