Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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