tonight lets celebrate not being married
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
