I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
