Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
