How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
