Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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