I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
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