you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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