I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Randomize
