We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
