i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
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