He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
