I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
