I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
