I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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